Keep Breathing

While wasting time on the Web, as usual, I have been listening to this Ingrid Michaelson song on repeat for the last hour.



As I was listening to her words over and over again, I was reading articles about the horrific tornadoes that swept through the Midwest last night and looking at the pictures of the devastation, pictures of people surveying the damage and hugging their loved ones, and something hit me like a lightening bolt to the face.

We all work so hard to keep up with the Joneses.  We all want nice things.

It takes a tornado 60 seconds to rip all of that away from you.

When it comes right down to it, when such a tragedy happens, all you're going to care about is that your loved ones are still alive.

All the material things we work so hard to attain don't matter at all.

My heart is broken for all the people affected by yet another awful natural disaster.

Life sucks sometimes.

But like the song says, all we can do is keep breathing...

NOT good times...

I already shared our poison ivy woes from earlier in the week.  That sucked.

The cherry on top of that sundae, though, was Ryan stepping on a rusty nail Thursday night.

Long story short, Ryan was walking in the yard barefoot and stepped on nail with his right foot.  He's up to date on his tetanus vaccine and everything, but he ended up getting really sick at 4 a.m. on Friday morning.

I was freaking out, thinking he had blood poisoning or something, but it turns out he probably was either having a bad reaction to the Prednisone prescribed for his poison ivy or had a stomach bug on top of everything else.

He was a miserable, moaning, puking mess.  It was a damn good thing that  I remembered to grab a bowl and paper towels before we went to the pediatrician's office, otherwise my car would have been covered in vomit.

His pediatrician gave me a prescription to fill for antibiotics if his foot started to look infected.  Thankfully, it has not...and I haven't needed to pick up the coveted pink medicine yet.

His dirty feet...and his injury.

He's much better today.

Yes, he dressed himself.  Plaid shorts, striped shirt...

As a matter of fact, he and Jayden are getting on my nerves as we speak.  I've had to tell them "get away from me" several times today already, which is a good sign that things are back to normal.

I'll tell ya, though, he really had me freaking out on Friday morning.

Oh, and by the way, as I was pulling the nail out of his foot, I was screaming at him that he should have had shoes on...but did you know it's actually better to step on a nail barefoot than with shoes on?  I learn something new every day...

Stop Scratching!!!

Today is a downright nasty day.  It's raining cats and dogs.

First thing this morning, I discovered the bleach had been knocked over onto a pile of dirty laundry with the top slightly loose.  Consequently,  my brand new black yoga pants and several other things are now destroyed.

I was supposed to be spending my day getting things done around the house.  I am off from work today, and the kids should be at school, followed by two hours at their after-school program.

Instead, I ended up in the pediatrician's office because both kids are covered in poison ivy.  They've been itchy since Saturday really.  I thought the little red bumps on Ryan's legs were mosquito bites or something.  Then it started spreading...and I started freaking out, thinking we had bed bugs or fleas or some other random scary parasite.

While I was happy to hear the doctor confirm that what we're dealing with is poison ivy, she also told me that the oil can remain active on objects, and therefore be spread, for up to a year.  Unfortunately that is what is happening.  It is indeed spreading like wild fire.  On the bright side, I don't seem to be allergic to it.

So now they are taking Prednisone and Benadryl and covered in chalky Calamine lotion, and I am left with the awesome responsibility of scrubbing anything they've touched...which is just about everything in the house.

I did have a giggle in the car on the way to the doctor's office though.

Jayden:  "Did you know that the sun will eventually explode?"

Me:  "Yes.  All stars eventually die.  The sun is a star."

Ryan:  "Yay!!!  I'm a star?"

Me:  "I was talking about the sun, Dude."

Jayden:  "Ryan, don't you know what a homophone is?  We're talking about the s-u-n, not s-o-n."

Smarty pants.

Never a dull moment....

Dancing Queen

On Saturday morning, Jayden woke up and bugged me non-stop about getting ready for dance recital rehearsal.  She was going to be able to wear make-up, for Pete's sake, and she wanted to get on with it already.

This was going to be her first recital experience, and she was wicked excited.

I definitely should have noticed that her tie was askew.

Several hours later, we pulled into the parking lot and she proceeded to barricade herself in the car...she flat out refused to get out, begged me to take her home.  She had a sudden onset of severe stage fright.

So I dragged her by the arm into the auditorium and that was that.

Turn to Sunday, the day of the show.  Once again, she was up bright and early and wanting to get ready...except this time there was not a hint of nervousness.

She was about the 35th act out of 70, so she had to sit in the audience with me for a loooooooooooong time before her performance.  I thought for sure she was going to be a  nervous wreck the closer we got to her turn, but she wasn't.
 

And when it was her class's time to perform, she did a great job.

She was showered with flowers by her adoring fans.

And she was awarded with a medal for completing her first year of dance classes, which she proudly wore around her neck to school this morning.

She had a great weekend.

As for me, my back is still killing me from sitting in the same spot for 5 hours yesterday.  Holy cow...dance recitals are long.  Thankfully they're only once a year.  :)

Saturday Morning Musings

* Since I think a blog post is naked without pictures, this one will be filled with random ones.

I woke up yesterday morning with a twitch in my right eye, and I still have it 24 hours later.  It makes me feel spazzy.

Flying high on the swing.  She tattooed her face over Easter break, in case you're curious what that black thing is.

  

I'm up before the kids on a Saturday morning, which is practically unheard of.  When I don't have to wake up for a particular reason on the weekend, I like to lay in bed and snooze until my body is ready to get up.  On Saturday mornings, I'm known to stay in bed until 11...even noon.  It's kind of nice to be getting things done before the daily fighting begins.

Speaking of fights, I really hope that they knock it off one day soon.  They argue over every little stupid thing...yet they are lost without one another.  It occurred to Ryan the other day that in a few years Jayden will move to a different school without him and he cried...like big sad tears.  Apparently just having her in the same building is important to him.  Who knew...

She tried to be slick and take a sip of his slushy, but he caught her red handed.

 
Jayden has a dance recital on Sunday.  She's been taking lessons since January, but just last night I was scouring nearby towns trying to find her the jazz shoes she's supposed to have.  It took me a little more effort than I expected, but I finally found them...thank heavens.

I just subscribed to a free one-month trial at audible.com.  I've been listening to The Hunger Games on my iPhone nonstop since.  It's a great way to pass the time while I'm driving or cleaning around the house.  And since I don't have a lot of free time to read for pleasure, it enables me to listen to books that I've been dying to get my hands on.

How is it that he eats like a 30-year-old man but you can see his rib cage like he's emaciated?

For the first time ever really, I am staying ahead of my workload.  I'm starting to find a balance, which is easing a lot of stress.  I'm pretty sure it's because the kids are older and aren't so dependent upon me for every little thing.  Trust me when I tell you that it is damn near impossible to work at home with two babies.  I've come a long way.

The kids have a little over one month of school left.  Since they had a bazillion snow days, their last day isn't until June 27th.  I'm really looking forward to summer laziness...

I regret to inform you that my laundry room floor is piled high with laundry again.  It really is my nemesis...a task that I abhor with all my heart and soul.

  

It officially costs over $60 to fill my car with gas.  What the hell, man?  Are the prices ever going to go back down?  When I got my license in 1999, gas was about $1 a gallon.  It's gone up almost 400 percent in a little over 10 years.  Yikes!

Jayden has just stumbled out here asking for breakfast, so I'm off to throw some french toast sticks into the toaster oven.  Mmmmm....

Have a wonderful weekend!

Reverting

See this guy right here:

Well, I love him.

As a matter of fact, he's one of my most favorite people on the planet.

But if he doesn't stop waking me up in the middle of the night every single day, him and I are going to fight.

I'm only 28 years old.  I don't need bags under my eyes.  He's 7 years old for crying out loud.  I should be able to get an uninterrupted 6 to 8 hours of sleep.

Mostly he complains about nightmares.  See, the thing about Bubba is that he is a fraidy cat.

Is that mean for me to say?

Well, it's the truth.

The crazy thing is that he really is quite an adventurous little kid...but when he hears a bump in the night, he comes running for his mama.

I love ya, Dude, but you're killing me.

Yawn.

Cutting the cord...

 I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days.

When you have a baby, he or she is pretty much in your control 24/7...and it stays that way for quite a few years.

I'm entering into a territory now where my kids are going to have a life that doesn't always include me.

And it brings me severe anxiety.

I wouldn't consider myself a hovering parent really.  I let them do things even when inside I'm screaming with worry because I know there are times when I need to step away and maybe look the other way...because it's part of growing up.

Ryan went on a field trip yesterday without me...and I was sick all day about it.  I don't know why I'm so nervous about things like that, but I hate when my kids go on bus trips without me...like to the point of I need a Xanax stat.

We're at the stage where we bring them to birthday parties and dance lessons and play dates...and leave.  We don't have them in our sights all the time.

And as neurotic as it sounds, it makes me think of days when they'll be driving and dating and leaving home all grown up because I know it's going to be here in the blink of an eye.  And I don't know how the heck I'm going to be able to handle it. 

Does this protective mom thing ever go away?  Because I can't imagine that it does.  I don't know how mothers of soldiers overseas don't just throw up all day long worrying about their babies.

I can't even let my kids get in a car with a person other than myself and a selected few and not panic all the live long day.

So, basically, I need to chill the eff out.  Enjoy each day.  Stop worrying about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

I mean, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?

Hi, my name is Jessica, and I am a worrying spaz of a mother.

P.S.  Can you tell I've discovered the self timer on my camera?  Good times...

My afternoon heart attack

The kids are at school.  Brand is at work.  I don't have a job due today, nor do I have to leave the house to go to work.  I am suffering from either a cold or allergies...so I'm feeling a little off.

So at 10:00, I looked at the clock and said to myself, "I'm going to close my eyes for a half hour."

Turn to 12:15-ish.

That's the time my eyes opened again and I shot up off the couch in a panic.  I had no idea what day it is.  Where are the kids?  Am I late for work?  Are they late for school? 

My heart was pounding until I came back to reality.

Somehow the effects of a nap aren't so relaxing when you wake up like that.

Random picture:

Memorial Day '06

I think Bubba is wearing 2T.  Jayden is wearing Little Mermaid sandals that lit up when she walked.  Chubby baby fingers gripping ginger ale...  Ack.  They're not babies anymore.  :(

Another from the same day:

On that note, I think I'm going back to sleep...

Finally.

At 10:30, I saw that the president was going to be addressing the nation.  I heard a reporter say the words "a very grave CIA operation overseas."  It made me nervous...scared even.

Then the reports started trickling in that Osama Bin Laden is dead at the hands of the United States.

It's been 9 years, 7 months, and 20 days since that awful, awful day.

We will never forget.

He was able to hide for 10 years.  We never stopped looking.

May he burn in hell.

I wish this meant the end of terrorism.  I wish it meant a peaceful world for my children.

While I know it doesn't, it still gives me hope.

Today is a good day.

United we stand.