Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Making a list, checking it twice...not in the Santa Claus sense.

I figured something out about myself yesterday.

I always have a list 10 miles long of things to do in my head.  It's daunting, to say the least, and I never can seem to get everything done.

Yesterday I needed to get very specific things done for work, so I jotted down a short list of things to do and checked them off as I completed the task.

When every last thing was checked off, I felt like a million bucks.

How lame is it that having that little visual made me feel so much better?

Totally not rocket science...but it made me feel accomplished.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Weekend Photos

Thanksgiving has come and gone...boo-hoo.

I'm getting into Christmas mode early this year.  I have even finished my Christmas shopping.

Shamefully, last year I did not put up my tree until Christmas Eve.  gasp.

I bought a new tree on Friday and put it up yesterday.  It's huge.  Our angel is going to be smacking her head on the ceiling.

It's not decorated yet, though, because I'm giving the cats time to adjust and learn that they can't go near it.  A spray bottle with water is my new best friend.  Surprisingly it's working.  Only once did one of the cats scale the tree like a squirrel.  When I sprayed her, she ran away and never came back.

Ryan getting ready to get his eat on, on Thanksgiving.

Looking pretty before dinner...and before the fighting ensued.

We had my Dad's birthday cake on Thanksgiving.  Apparently we weren't singing loud enough.

The kids with Grandpa...

Before assembly.

Pure Excitement

The tree box turned out to be quite entertaining for a few hours...

Ryan the Pilgrim

Ryan the Native American

Love the feather.

Naked tree...

Back to the grind tomorrow...

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Caught on film...

Jayden was sitting next to me yesterday with my phone in her hand.  Little did I know that she was filming me.  She caught some raw footage of me in the act of scolding.

The sound of my madness is forever saved.  Luckily you can't see me...because I don't think I'd showered yet.

I yell at Ryan approximately 1,897,219 times a day for running in the house.  Number one, I don't want the child to fall and break his face.  Number two, he sounds like a herd of elephants.

Living on the 2nd floor + hardwood floors + running children = very grumpy neighbors.

Friday, November 26, 2010

I need some bigger pants,please.

Yesterday's meal did not disappoint.

I cannot cook, not one bit, so my mother makes the bomb Thanksgiving dinner.

Turkey, stuffing, broccoli casserole, candied yams, mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy, corn, cranberry sauce.  Heaven on a plate.

For dessert, we tried something new.

That is a mince meat pie.  I always thought mince meat pie contained meat, like beef, so I was sort of puzzled.

Okay, so we had turkey for dinner and now we're going to have beef for dessert?  That doesn't seem appetizing.

Some forms of mince meat pie, as it turns out, actually do contain beef, but this one didn't.  It was more of an apple/raisin pie.  It was tasty.  I'm glad I tried it.

Even Grumpy smiles on Thanksgiving.


The Christmas season has officially begun.  I need a new tree, so I'm going to brave the Black Friday crowds and try to find a good deal on one today.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Before I go stuff my face, let me give thanks.

I am thankful for my health and my family's health.

I am thankful that my husband and I have jobs.

Other than those two things, anything else I say will be trivial, so I won't go there.

I hope everyone has a great day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Screw You, Strep Throat.

The plague is back in the Noble household.

Jayden has strep throat.  I pretty much knew since Sunday that she had it because her throat hurt so bad that she wasn't eating or drinking...and she was absolutely miserable.

Of course the fever began overnight between Friday and Saturday, as fevers always do, and I could just feel the heat radiating off her body.  So I gave her Advil and hoped that whatever sickness this was didn't involve puking. 

After work yesterday, I called the pediatrician's office and told them that I wanted to bring her in for a strep test.  Because she had a fever, the doctor insisted on seeing her.  The conversation went like this:

Nurse:  "What symptoms does she have other than a sore throat?"

Me:  "A fever."

Nurse:  "What's her temperature?"

Me:  "I don't know."

Nurse:  "So she could just be warm?"

Me:  "Um, no.  She has a fever."

Now, I don't pretend to have a medical degree, nor am I an RN, but I'm pretty sure that being a mother for the last 8 years gives me the ability to diagnose a fever practically by just looking at my child.

Attitude unappreciated.

Anyway, Jayden has never been scared to go to the doctor.  But she had it in her mind that the swab she was going to need was akin to having her leg sawed off with no anesthesia.  I literally had to drag her out the door.  She was sobbing.  I have never seen her act that way in my life.

A lady in the parking lot smiled at me and said, "Going to peeds, huh?"

It was absurd.  I wish I had it on film.

Luckily the ginormous fish tank in the waiting room took her mind off the impending doom for 5 minutes and she was pretty calm by the time we went into the examination room.

After the doctor looked at her and decided she needed her throat swabbed (duh), the nurse came in with that long Q-tip and did the deed.  Jayden barely even gagged.

When it was over, she looked at me and gave me half a smirk because she was obviously relieved; but she turned her attitude right back on because she clearly couldn't let me know that I was right all along.  She said, "I'm still not talking to you."


So now she's stuck at home with the pink stuff...but at least she's already feeling better this morning.  She's even eating JELLO.


How much do you want to make a bet that I'm going to have strep just in time for my favorite holiday?

Monday, November 22, 2010

True Life

 I bet you're curious as to what that is on my finger.

It looks like an eyelash; right?

Well, it's not.

I plucked that bad boy from my upper lip.

Yes, folks, it's a thick ass mustache hair.

It looked like an itty bitty black spot on my face.  When I plucked it out, however, it turned out to be long as hell.

And it grows back time and time again.

This time Brand pointed it out to me when I went to give him a kiss.

Thanks, Babe.  I wouldn't want to go out into the world looking like a dude.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

You never know...

You know, I think that I have both my kids figured out pretty good.

But sometimes you never know how they will react to something, either in a good way or a bad way.

Take yesterday morning, for example.  I went to Rite Aid to buy laundry detergent and decided to find something entertaining, yet cheap, to keep them occupied for a while.

After walking around for a bit, I decided on a book of word searches for each of them.  They are both at an age where they are reading, so I knew they would be able to do them.  And at two bucks apiece, you can't get more cost effective than that.

When I got home, they were both really excited about it.  Surprise number one.  I knew they would be happy to have something to do, but I didn't know how psyched they would be about word searches.  They basically jumped for joy when I handed them their prize.

Now comes that bad part.

Jayden pointed out to me that the answers were in the back, so I told them to give me the book and proceeded to rip the answer pages out because I figured they'd just cheat.

Ryan lost his everloving mind.  Surprise number two.

When I say lost his mind, he screamed and cried and threw the mother of all tantrums...and it went on for a good hour.

If I had known he was going to react that way, I would never have done it. 

I paid dearly for my mistake...with a headache.

Geez, he's becoming a moody little bugger lately.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Thanks, Punky.

Over last weekend, I hadn't washed a load of socks, so on Tuesday morning all that was left were the mismatches.

While I was getting Jayden's clothes together, I pulled two of the same style of sock out of the pile, one pink and one blue, and told her she was channeling her inner Punky Brewster that day.

For those of you unfamiliar with Punky, in the very first episode, she is questioned as to why she is wearing two different shoes.  Her response:  "I have two feet.  Why shouldn't I wear two different shoes?"

Jayden thought it was a magnificent idea.  Phew.

So am I a lazy can't-get-my-butt-off-the-couch-long-enough-to-do-a-load-of-laundry loser? 

No, siree.  Not one bit.

In fact, I am a genius.

That's what I call PUNKY POWER!

Man, I love that show.

Have a wonderful Friday!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


How do you let your significant other know you're pissed off?

Are you a door slammer?  A screamer?  A walk-away-mad-and-don't-show-your-face-till-you-cool-off'er?  A punch-whatever-object-is-nearby'er?


I'm a growler.

I told Brand the other day that he brings out my inner DMX.

When he makes me mad, I growl at him...like a dog.

I'm not really sure why I started doing such an odd thing.  I think it has something to do with my favorite movie, Coal Miner's Daughter.  One of my favorite lines is when she tells her husband, "Stop yer growlin', Doo.  You sound like an old bear or somethin'."  Greatest movie ever.

Have a great day!  Can't believe it's Wednesday already...

My favorite holiday is next week!  So can't wait to stuff my face.

Today...well, yesterday by the time I get around to posting this.

This morning I sat in traffic for two hours to get to work.  Good thing I gave myself two and a half hours to get there.  Merritt Parkway traffic is obscene.

On my lunch break, I went to a little convenience store to buy Snapple, and they only accepted cash.  Who the hell carries cash?  Not me.

My job lasted 7 hours today.  Cha-ching.  I get paid by the page.  The longer the day, the more pages I get.

At the end of the job, the attorney informed me he would like me to come back and do Thursday and Friday all day, too.  Triple Cha-ching!

Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to get my kids to school on Thursday morning since Brand doesn't get home till 9:30 and I have to leave at 6:45 and the bus doesn't come until 8:10.  That little predicament has me scratching my head...

I pulled into a gas station to fill my tank before I drove home.  When I pulled in, every pump was being used and there were people waiting.  I walked into the little store and bought something (three guesses what it was) and when I walked out, all the pumps were empty.  I turned on the car, put on my seat belt, put the car in reverse to get gas and all the pumps were full again.  Please explain to me how that is even possible...

I had to stop at Staples to buy paper before coming home.  I needed to buy the 3-hole punch kind for work.  It's $7.99 a ream.  It was on sale by the case, 10 reams, $46 total, and they had one left.  That's nearly half the price.  SCORE!

When I got home, I immediately scooped up my little rugrats and we snuggled in my bed and watched The Princess and the Frog for the first time.  I loved it.  Not a big surprise there though.  I love ALL things Disney.

I put my kids to bed at 10:30 on a school night.  I missed their faces today.  They are going to be little beasts in the morning when it's time to get up.

To end my day, I royally pissed off my husband because the cats knocked over the garbage and I chose to walk past it and pretend I didn't see it.  He walked into the kitchen to find that little surprise and cursed me out the whole time while he was sweeping it up.

Such an exciting life I lead.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Christmas Question

I'm looking for some feedback here.  I see all you lurkers viewing, so now I'm going to put you to work.

I would love to know how you handle Christmas as far as the amount of gifts that Santa Clause brings...or if your kids even believe in Santa.

Santa usually needs a big rig to haul all the loot and put it under our tree.  That's the way it was for me when I was growing up, and Christmas always rocked.

When I had kids, my mom told me not to start that same tradition...because once you start, you can't stop.

Needless to say, I didn't listen.

I just can't help it.  When I go into Toys-R-Us, I act like a child that's on a shopping spree.  I fill my cart to the brim.  Most of the time I end up putting a bunch of stuff back because I am not made of money, but I do tend to overspend.

But to me it's worth it.  Watching them on Christmas morning tearing into all their fantastic goodies makes me not care how much I swiped the debit card in the weeks prior.

I've read blogs where people give one toy, one book, and a pair of PJ's.  That's what their kids are used to.

So just purely out of curiosity, how do you do it?  What are your traditions?

I understand the true meaning of Christmas and that gifts are not important in the grand scheme of things and all that.  I'm not looking to start a debate about that. 

As a matter of fact, this week I intend for me and the kids to gather things for Operation Christmas Child.  And I think you should, too!

Watch the video.  But, first, grab the Kleenex.  Trust me.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Blah, blah, blah...

I'm grateful for the gorgeous weather we've had the past couple days because my kids have been able to play outside.  Soon enough it will be too cold for them to spend hours upon hours running in the yard...and I'm not happy about it.  Winter sucks.

I'm in a rut.  I have no less than 100 things to do...and all I've wanted to do since Friday is sleep.

So that's what I did yesterday.  I took the day off from life and literally laid in bed all day.

Now it's Sunday and I need to get off my lazy behind and do something.

I read people's Facebook statuses that say they're bored.  Bored?  I don't remember what that is.

In my world bored has been replaced with overwhelmed.

But I'm not complaining really.  In some ways I'm glad I have so much to do.  It keeps me on my toes.

On a positive note, I completed my Christmas shopping as far as SC goes (ho, ho, ho).  That is a huge check off my list.

Hope you have a FABULOUS day!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

He's a Keeper

My husband is brutally honest.

When I asked him how I looked the other day, he told me that I had Hulk arms in that particular shirt.

I'm not going to lie...that pissed me off.

My husband is also very grouchy.

But he works a lot of hours and I can live with his crankiness.

My husband also makes sauce, a very delicious sauce.

 Ladies and Gentlemen, marriage is about learning to take the good with the bad.

Hulk arms comment = bad.

Sauce = good.

I can live with that.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Another Morning with Bubba

After Ryan got dressed this morning, I told him to go into the bathroom and brush his teeth.

When I walked out of the bedroom, did I find him in the bathroom doing what I told him to do?

No, of course not.

Instead, he was at the refrigerator drinking Mountain Dew.

I can totally see how he mixed up the two.

Oh, Bubba.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Veteran's Day

Today I would just like to send a big "THANK YOU!!!!" shout-out to all the men and women who have served in the past and are currently serving our country to keep us safe and free.

I am so grateful for your braveness, strength, and selflessness.

I'm especially thinking today about a Marine I know who is currently overseas.

Thanks, Anton.  You rock.  :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Nothing much

There's nothing too exciting going on around here the past couple days.

The new Call of Duty came out, so that means my husband is either working or sitting in front of the TV.

I call this next picture "The U-Nerd-ed States of America."

If you're not sure what that is, that's a map on the video game menu to show how many people are playing the game.  Your location is lit up.  As you can see, the U.S. is lit up like a Christmas tree...and it looks like one lucky person in Africa picked up the game, too.


Yesterday I helped Ryan finish a project.  He had to disguise a turkey so that it won't get eaten on Thanksgiving.  Can you tell what it is?

It's a dragon.  We tried our best...


Last but not least for today, apparently our cats were starving this morning.

I woke up to this magnificent sight.

Happy Hump Day!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Slow Down!

I mean, is it me or is this whole winter/Christmas thing coming on a bit fast?

Sleet this morning.  Really?

The effin Christmas trees are up and Christmas music is playing at the mall and every store I've been in recently.

I wanted to knock them all down at Target the other day.

Imagine that...some crazy woman protesting the onslaught of early holiday preparation.

Don't get me wrong.  I love Christmas...absolutely adore it.

But can I eat some damn turkey first? 


Sunday, November 7, 2010

8th Birthday Party

Jayden's party at Roller Magic was a success.

All the kids had a fabulous time.

I don't understand how that place stays in business.  It's seriously in the most ghetto, hidden spot ever.

And another thing...I sent 19 invitations to school.  2 people RSVP'd, one no and one yes.

Now, I am not the best RSVP'er on the planet, but apparently nobody else is either.

Whatever.  For what it costs per child, I'm not complaining.  And Jayden didn't care either.  She had a blast with her peeps that were there.


Looking like a stud with his new haircut

Aidan tried out skating, but I think he liked the arcade better.

8 years old!

I made these lovelies

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Lesson of the Day

If you stick something in your nose, you might hurt yourself.

Just sayin'.

Do you understand how happy I am that I caught this on camera?

It made my day.

Friday, November 5, 2010

A Letter to My Son

Dear Bubba,

You might be the only person on the planet that needs Right Guard Sport for Men and Johnson's No More Tears Shampoo, but that's okay.  I still love you...and always will.

Your Mama

Thursday, November 4, 2010

A Sign of the Times

So I'm sure many of you remember the Scholastic book orders from when we were kids.

The day that box showed up in school with the book order was a fantastic one...at least for those of us who got to take home a prize.

I remember it fondly because some months I was actually allowed to pick a book or two.

That was back when I was way into the Sweet Valley High books, Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield.  I can't believe I actually just remembered their names.  It popped into my head...without Google's help.  Amazing.

I happen to enjoy reading immensely.  Unfortunately, I don't have much time to read at this point because of everything else on my to-do list, but I am trying to make little readers out of my kids.

Do I buy them stuff out of the book orders?



Because I spend a fortune at Barnes & Noble instead.

Anywhooooo, the point of this post is getting a little skewed.

In 2010, not only do kids get to come home and beg for books, but nowadays they also get to beg for video games.

Yes, you have read correctly.

Scholastic puts out a flyer now for Nintendo games and PC games.  They are the educational variety of course, but still...

If you couldn't talk your mom into buying you a two dollar book, you're damn sure not going to get her to buy you a thirty dollar video game.

The times sure are a'changin'.  For reals.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


When I was pregnant with my first baby, I remember my mom telling me that I wouldn't sleep for the next 18 years.

Boy, she wasn't kidding.

I haven't had a good night sleep since 2002.

If I'm not catching up on work until 3 a.m., I am playing musical beds all night.  That means that I fall asleep in my bed or on the couch and one of the kids wakes up from a bad dream or whatever and finds me. 

Sometimes they lay down with me and that's fine, but other times my back is killing me so I move to another bed.  I have gone from my bed to the couch to Ryan's bed to Jayden's bed and back to my bed all in one night.

They're like bloodhounds.  They can sniff me out no matter where I am.

I have actually considered taking a blanket and pillow into the bathtub.  I'd like to see them try and find me there.

My kids have only spent overnights at other people's houses a handful of times since they were born, and those nights I end up sleeping the worst.  I like to have my chicks in their own nest, if you catch my drift. 
 Instead of being awake because I have a 40-pound child sleeping on my back (true story), I'm awake worrying all night because I can't physically walk into their room and check on them.

I'm a little paranoid when it comes to my children.  My bedroom is on a different floor than theirs, so oftentimes I sleep on the couch near their room because I feel most comfortable when they're right near me.

I am not looking forward to sleepovers at friends' houses....or the teenage years when they're on dates and driving cars.  Yikes.

People think the baby stage is the hard part.

No way, man.

Each age presents new challenges....more complicated than the last.

It's exhausting just thinking about it.



If you watched my video last night, you probably could hear that I have a cold.

During the night, that head cold moved to my chest.  I also have the kind of headache where you can feel your brain smacking up against your skull when you move, if that makes sense.

So I have nothing interesting or funny to say today.

My kids are home, too.  We just can't get rid of this plague.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Conversation in the car

It is 8:20 and my kids are in bed.

I have had enough today.  I am blaming their lunacy on a Halloween sugar high.  There is no other explanation.

After school, we went into Michael's (the craft store) because I promised Jayden she could pick out some stickers.  While we were there, they also both asked for some slime out of the dollar bin.  They refer to it as "fart putty" because you can make such disgusting noises with it.

They have had it before and it is apparently very entertaining, so I let them get it.

In the car they were both laughing hysterically.

It was quiet for a second and then Ryan squeezed the putty again, the fart sound was made, and then Ryan said in the most serious voice ever, "I think I just sharted."

I'm sure you know what a shart is, but just in case you don't, it's a combination of shit and fart.  Basically, if you shart, you better go change your pants.

What added to the hilarity of it for me is that my children, for some reason, speak with New York accents.  They sound like they are being raised in the Bronx.  So it actually sounded like "I think I just shawted," which just amused me endlessly.

I was hysterically laughing inside, but I had to yell at him because it's obviously not an appropriate term for a 6-year-old to be using.

It's a good thing this little weasel is so freakin' cute.  You have no idea...

Word to the wise:  If you mix fart putty with sugared up children, you will most certainly want to run away from home.

The end.

Developing Important Skills

We went to a party two weekends ago.

Some of the adults were playing beer pong.

Naturally, the kids were interested, but clearly they could not participate.

So what did the party-throwers do?

Why, they set up another table for the kids to get their water pong game on, of course.

They had a blast.

On another note, today is November 2nd, otherwise known as Election Day.

Go vote.

If you don't, I know some hardcore gangsters that will bust some caps.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend?

Not this girl.

The way to my heart is a camera, a  fancy shmancy camera.

I don't even know how to use the thing to its full potential, but it has been the greatest purchase I have ever made and I wish I did it forever ago.

On Sunday morning, the kids and I were out on the porch (me with camera in hand as usual) and I caught their relationship perfectly in a series of seven photographs.

I told them to put their arms around each other and smile for me.

The pictures that I ended up with have me laughing out loud every time I look at them.

I think that when I announced I was pregnant just nine months after Jayden was born, people thought I was crazy.

But I am so glad they are only 17 months apart in age.  While they fight constantly, if you sit back and watch them interact, you will see that they need each other and love each other, no matter how steadfastly they deny it.

Siblings:  Mortal enemies one minute, best friends the next.

Happy Monday!

One more thing.  Only 54 shopping days until Christmas.  Gag.