Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet....

I love autumn.  I love fall decor.  I love the way it smells outside.  I love that we don't need the heat or air-conditioner to be comfortable.

However, I am not a fan of Halloween for so many reasons.

Number one, the costumes are expensive and they're ripped by the time we get home from trick-or-treating.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure we could make them for way cheaper...BUT time is money and I don't have time for all that.  Kudos to you if you have creativity to do something like that.  Since I don't have mad skills, I head to Target and pay an arm and a leg there.

Number two, by the time October 31 rolls around, it's cold outside.  Even dressed in layers, both kids were freezing and miserable after just 10 minutes.  So you buy a costume only to cover it up with a winter coat to go trick-or-treating.  Jayden was in tears because she was so frozen, and she vowed to never go out for Halloween again.

Yeah, right.

I said to her, "But, Jayden, just think of all that candy you'll have when we get home."

And with her sassy attitude she said, "I don't care.  It rots your teeth anyway."

So true.

After tonight, my children have 80 pounds of candy...EACH.  They were wired, out of their minds in sugar shock by the time we got home.

I'll probably have to rob their stash little by little so they don't notice things are missing.  But if I'm just going to throw the candy out anyway, what was the damn point of walking 20 miles and freezing my ass off in the first place to get it?

I do have to say that Jayden looked adorable this year, my little sailor. 

 I even convinced her to wear her hair in a bun.

Ryan had to be Darth Vader (or Dark Vader, as Ryan calls him) because it was the only costume left in his size.  Procrastination strikes again.

Halloween is just not my favorite holiday.

But it's something that I think of fondly when I think of being a kid...and I'm going to make sure my kids have the same memories.

One thing I do wish is that it always fell on a Saturday because my kids are NOT going to want to get out of bed in the morning and go to school.  I feel bad for their teachers...really, really bad.  Tired, sugar-shocked kids.  Oh, what fun.

The upside to Halloween?  Tomorrow is November 1st.

Know what that means?

Thanksgiving!

Now that's a holiday I am always down for.

A Mischief Night Surprise of Sorts...

On October 30, 2002, I was in labor...a whole four weeks early.

I was not exactly having the greatest day ever.

See for yourself.  I can't even believe I'm posting this, but you truly have to see the misery to believe it.

Lovely, huh?

It was a long 12 hours and preeclampsia complications didn't make it any easier, but I survived and at 10:41 p.m. I got my prize.

That night, for the very first time, I laid eyes upon my Jayden Isabella...and although she was a little groggy from the medicine I needed for my high blood pressure, she was as healthy as could be.

She came out looking just as grouchy as her Daddy.

At 8 years old, Jayden is a very good student in 2nd grade and quite an artist.  She is very thoughtful and kind...yet sassy as could be.  She is a fashion diva to the core.  She is shy at school, but she is the boss at home (or so she thinks.)

I love that she can be a girly-girl, yet climb trees and dig in the mud with the boys.  She doesn't play with dolls or Barbies much.  She is more of a teddy bear girl.  She is a lover of all animals, especially her cat.  She has also inherited her parents' humor and wit, which makes for some hysterical conversations. 

She is still a snuggler and asks me to lay with her every single night before she goes to bed.  She has also entered that lovely phase of life where her front teeth are way too big for her mouth.

We aren't having her party until next week, so we spent the day relaxing, all of us trying to get over colds, and then I took her to Toys R Us to pick out some presents.  She chose a doll stroller and two little doll cribs...one for each of her teddy bears.

On Mischief Night 2002, my life changed forever.  My best friend was born.  I can't imagine my life without her.  As crazy as she makes me, she is an amazing little person.

Happy Birthday, Peachy!

I love you to the moon.

You're what? Seriously?

You know, every day I think to myself, gee, I don't know what the heck I'm going to blog about tomorrow.

And then my children wake up and BAM! I have subject matter up the wazoo.

So this morning I managed to wake up at the right time, even though I baked cupcakes for Jayden's class until 2 a.m.  Procrastination at its finest.

I was helping Ryan get ready and I happened to lean down and caught a whiff of his head...at which time I realized that he hadn't washed his hair, probably in days, even though he showers every single day (except yesterday, but you already know that story.)

So I said (yelled really), "Bubba, did you wash your hair?"  And I could tell immediately by the look on his face that he hadn't.  His response:  "I'm scared."

This sent me over the edge.  Scared?!?  Really?  The child who jumped off of a roof (true story) and skateboards off of cliffs is scared to wash his hair?

I told him, "You know that skateboard you're begging me to buy you?  Forget it.  If you're scared to wash your hair, you certainly can't do extreme sports."

It's not like I make him wash his hair with freakin' Head & Shoulders.  That shit burns if you get it even in the proximity of your eyeballs.  I buy the tear-free baby stuff.  And I'm sure he knows how to CLOSE HIS EYES while he's washing his hair.

Deep breaths.  I love my son.  I love my son.  I love my son.

Seriously...I do.

He just makes my brain hurt sometimes.

Around the house...

I picked up my camera and just started taking pictures of things around the house this afternoon.

There is nothing fancy about my life...nothing at all.  And I don't even care.  Go right on ahead and judge me, if you must.

It is what it is.  So there. 

A McDonald's Happy Meal Toy

Crayola Crayons are a necessity in life

I really freakin' need to do the dishes

Check out my laundry pile.  I know you're jealous.

I am totally not a shoe person.  These $12 Wal-Mart boots are good enough for me.  Notice the sticker stuck to the floor?

I found a family portrait taped to the front door.

Close-up of portrait.  She has made us all brown.  :)

The only sign around here that it is Halloween season.

The microwave is his master...not the claw.

Various artwork on the fridge gallery.  Yes, those are Christmas trees.

The cat that I squished this morning.  He is recovering by taking a snooze.

Tough life, huh?

Clean laundry that needs to be put away.  The clean pile is much smaller than the dirty.  Ssshhh, don't tell Ryan I showed you his tighty whities.

A staple in my house.  Guitar Hero.  Enough said.

So that's it....a trip around the Noble household.

I have two choices.  I can either accept things how they are and go with it, or I can worry about all the 80 billion things I have to clean and stress about it.

I'm going with choice number one...obviously.

This morning...

This morning I woke up late and it messed up my whole routine with the kids.  I had no car to bring them to school today, so if they missed the bus...they had to stay home.  No way, José!

I tore into the room, threw the lights on, and started throwing their clothes at them.  "Get up!  Get up!  You can't miss the bus!"

Usually they wake up, take a shower, I blow-dry Jayden's hair, they leisurely get dressed...you get the picture.  I give them time to actually wake up a bit.  Nope, not today.  There's nothing like being woken up by your raving lunatic mother.

Jayden had to wear her hair in a dreaded ponytail.  She hates having her hair like that and always takes it out on the bus.  I told her that she better keep it in today because her hair looks like a hot mess.  I'm sure it will last 15 minutes.

Then, as I was shutting the front door, I shut the cat's body in the door because I didn't see him sneaking in behind me, which caused him to screech and spaz the eff out on my foot and leg.  I proceeded to chase him around the kitchen and living room, all the while screaming obscenities at him, trying to catch him and throw him back outside.  Stupid cat.

My neighbors downstairs must think I'm out of my mind.

I've got nothing...

Nothing to say, that is.

Work killed me today.  Deadlines suck.  They suck so bad.  And I suck at meeting them.  I have such a love/hate relationship with my job.

On a brighter note, I went to the grocery store and (a) bought Snapple and (b) discovered they now sell scratch-offs out of vending machines.  Sweet Ass.

I always think the store clerks will assume I have a gambling addiction when I buy lottery tickets, even though I buy them about once a month.  Now I just scan my license and stick the cash in the machine.  Judgment-free gambling = insanely awesome.

Did I mention that it's October 27th and my children still remain costumeless for Halloween?  We haven't even carved a pumpkin yet.

Man, I suck at life right now, huh?

Peace out.

Remember, you saw it here first.

The kids brought home yet another fundraiser for school last week.  This time it's for reusable bags in all shapes and sizes and patterns.  If you're going green and want a pretty bag on your arm, this is the stuff for you.

I was flipping through the catalog yesterday and stumbled upon this gem.

Get ready, ladies.  You are about to discover the perfect Christmas gift for any lucky man in your life.

Behold, the Man Bag.

Would you look at the smile on his face? 

I told Brand I was buying one for him for Christmas.  After all, it does say it's "a must for men."

Bahahahahahahahaha...I am amused far too easily. 

Happy Tuesday!

Today...

I have a sickie home from school.

Jayden has a sore throat, fever, runny nose, body ache....and so do I.

Fan-bloody-tastic.

There is nothing worse than being sick when you can't lay in bed all day and nap or watch TV.  Instead I will sit in front of my computer and keep on plugging away on some work.

To spice things up a little bit, I may get up every once in a while and switch the laundry.  Woo-hoo!

Jayden, however, gets to stay in her PJ's all day and sleep and color pictures and watch her shows.

Just a few minutes ago I heard her quoting Punky Brewster in the other room, which makes my heart proud.  I was the biggest fan of Punky back when I was a pip squeak myself.  I had the crazy colored shoes and everything.

Hope your day is less germ infested than mine!