Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Motherf*%!# Spiders!!!!

It is no secret to those who know me well that I am absolutely petrified of spiders. The sight of even the smallest of spiders paralyzes me with fear.

I know it's slightly irrational, but whatever. It is what it is. They're ugly and they crawl fast and they give me the heebie-jeebies.

It's now 4:00 a.m. I was just dozing off when I swear that I saw a big f'en wood spider crawling near me. I jumped out of bed like the house was on fire and turned all the lights on. Brand inspected the area and found no evidence of any critters.

Does that make me feel better? Definitely not!

Was I hallucinating? Probably.

It happens to me every once in a while. This is not the first time I've leaped 25 feet off the bed out of a dead sleep because of a demon spider. Even the damn imaginary ones torture me! And now I can't sleep.

This is going to be a great day, let me tell you.

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