Thursday, December 2, 2010

This is going to be one hell of a rant.

I am in such a quandary right now.  I feel like I'm going crazy.

The world is so full of awfulness.  I see pictures of babies that look like skeletons because their mothers are starving and can't produce any milk to feed them.  I read news articles about the turmoil and disease in Haiti, and it makes me feel like such a stupid ass for complaining about ANYTHING in my life.  I mean, just look around your house for a second.  I'm sure you'll see appliances, televisions, cell phones, computers, clothing, toys, 85 pairs of shoes, RUNNING WATER.

How many people on this earth don't even have access to a clean water this day and age?

To us, it's just a given.  We turn on a faucet and take a shower and flush our toilets without giving it a second thought.  

I am starting to feel guilty for everything I have, even though I work hard to earn it.  I'm by no means well off.  We're living paycheck to paycheck half the time just like millions of other people, but at least we have a roof over our heads.  Hell, at least we have a paycheck.  We're not starving.  We're not freezing.  We have access to health care if/when we need it.

My kids are going to open a bunch of toys on Christmas morning while other kids have nothing...and it makes me feel like shit.

But should I feel bad?  I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  I'm providing for myself and my family.  I help others in need when I have the means.  I don't sit back and expect handouts from others.

See, I told you I'm in a quandary.

I need some Xanax stat.

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