This sucks, sucks, sucks...

Having a double chin is not cool.

Neither is having to wear Spanx to contain the muffin top. 

And don't even get me started on the feeling of Spanx rolling down your gut because you're a chunk.

Worst.  Feeling.  Ever.

I need to go to the gym and stop drinking the damn Snapple....maybe eat salad or something.

Problem is, there is no way I'm going to give up the crack (you know what I mean) and I am the most unathletic person on the face of the earth.

My dad loves to tell a little story about me in middle school gym class, when I went to serve a volleyball and it came down and smacked me in my face.  That pretty much sums up my athletic ability to a tee.

I am not all "pain is temporary" or "no pain, no gain." 

I feel like I'm going to die after I jog for two minutes and totally give up.  I am totally uncoordinated on the Elliptical machine and I have to hold on for dear life on the treadmill so I don't bust my ass like this dude.

Ugh.