Friday Phone Dump

Summer is in full force.  In other words, a bunch of lazy butts.  Brand is out of work with an ankle sprain/partial ligament tear, so the kids have been home with nothing special to do...just a lot of hanging out.  It has been HOT the past two days, which makes us want to do nothing but veg out.  We are melting!  

Here are a few pics I took this week.  I love me some Instagram!  Seriously my favorite app right now.

Jayden learned how to flip pancakes and wants to make them every single day:

Playing Zoo World during lunch time:

Lovely digital artwork compliments of Jayden:

 

Puzzle-making fools: 

Kettle corn is our newest snack addiction.  We go through boxes of this stuff like crazy..

Sneaking beverages into the library while I get some work done:

Melting in the heat wave:

Jayden's curly summer hairdo:

Mr. Grouch:

 

Bumper-to-bumper traffic fun:

Summer is Here Again

And just like that, another school year is over in a flash.

First day 2011/2012 school year:

Last Day 2011/2012 school year:

No more bangs, a lot more hair, and new glasses for Miss Thang. 

Jayden completed 3rd grade and Ryan completed 2nd grade.  I really can't believe how fast this year went by.  They both did well academically and seem to be right on grade level as far as reading and math.  Jayden absolutely loved her teacher this year.  He is very science oriented and so is she.  They dissected squids during the last week of school, and she was in absolute heaven.

We started to see the wonderful world of little girl bullies this year in third grade.  Don't even get me started on how angry this makes me.  Jayden has two personalities.  She has her very shy, well-behaved school persona, and then she has her sassy, I'm-gonna-knock-you-out persona.  Of course she's too passive and afraid to show the bullies her mean side.  It's bound to happen though...and I can't wait for that day to come.

June 19th was their last day, and I have to admit that I am really looking forward to the lazy days of summer. 
So far, we've spent their first week of vacation melting in a heat wave.

Only time will tell what summer shenanigans we'll get ourselves into...

Thirteen

My husband just pointed out to me that two days ago, March 14th, was our anniversary.  He was mad at himself that he forgot.  Honestly, I forgot about it, too.

March 14th is not the date we got married.  It's the date we started going out.  He made it official by asking me to be his girlfriend in a note.  Ha!

I was 16 then.  He was.....uh, older.  ;)

That was 1999, the year of Britney Spears.  Hit me baby one more time...

I've been smooching the same lips for 13 years.

Thirteen!

Holy crap.

I will never forget what he did for me on our four-month anniversary.  He sent me a floral arrangement with four roses.  The little note that came with it said:  "Four flowers, four months.  That's easy.  What can I get you for forever?"

Still makes me smile.  :)

Turns out Grumpy has a romantic side.

Happy Friday!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

I've got some splainin to do...

Part of the reason I stopped blogging was that I just don't know what the h-e-double hockey sticks to write about all the time.

Honestly, though, as I look back at my archives, I am really, really pissed at myself that I stopped.  Having a blog is like having a diary, and it's really fun to look back on...even the everyday mundane stuff. 

Another reason I hesitate to document certain events/conversations is that my kids are getting older and, even at 7 and 9 years old, they were getting mad at me for some of the things I was writing.  Not cool.  Jayden even told me one day, "AND YOU BETTER NOT BLOG ABOUT THIS!"

In an effort to update more often, I think I'm going to do things that I've seen on other blogs.  I'll have a daily theme.  For example:  Motherhood Mondays, Ten on Tuesday, Wordless Wednesday, Random Thursday, Fun Friday...or something like that.  I hate to bite ideas from other people, but I'm sort of at a loss.

Another thing:  When I was blogging more regularly, my camera was in my hand at all times.  When I stopped, my poor Canon Rebel sat on my desk and gathered dust.  Again, so not cool.

A lot of changes have happened for my family in the past months, and I really want to get it all down on "paper."  Ya know what I'm sayin'?

So let's get on with it.

One of my favorite apps on my iPhone is Zombie Me!.  It appears that zombies are all the rage right now, and that fact certainly hasn't been lost on me or my kids.

You take a normal photo like this:

 And you turn it into something like this:

I mean, what's not to love about that?

Stranger Saves the Day

 Today a complete stranger did something really nice for my kids.  She actually made me think to myself, "Wow. There are actually people in this world that aren't assholes."

The kids were outside playing basketball, and their ball rolled into the street and started heading down the ginormous hill we live on.  They knew they weren't allowed to chase after it, so they stood at the end of the driveway screaming for me. 

By the time I got to the front door, it was rolling down the hill full speed towards an incredibly busy main road.  I had no shoes on, so I figured either the basketball was a goner or I was going to have to get in my car and find it.  I wasn't about to chase the thing barefoot.

The kids were really upset, so I went to find my shoes and my car keys and was about to go on a mission.  Just as I was backing out of the driveway, a woman pulled into the driveway next door and walked towards me with the ball.  I had actually seen her car a few minutes before as she was driving up the hill and had to swerve to miss the ball.  Apparently she turned her car around and went on the mission for me. 

I was shocked.  Honestly, it's been my experience lately that people are rude and impatient and downright mean.  I couldn't believe that somebody took the time out of their day to turn their car around, follow the ball, and return it home.

Time to pay it forward...

p.s. I'm really, really going to try to make a blog comeback.

Just so...depressing.

Jayden found my old jewelry stash last night. 

I'm not a big jewelry wearer.  I've had on the same necklace for like a year...at least.  I wear two rings, the engagement ring and the wedding band.

Nothing more, nothing less.

So I was looking at my old bracelets and necklaces that I used to wear back in the day...you know, back when I was hot.

I tried to put a necklace on that I wore all the time. 

It used to look so cute on me.

And now?

Now I can't even get the damn clasp ends to touch each other.

Holy crap, people.

I have a fat neck.

D-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-n-g.

The Most Boring Summer Ever

Summer vacation is usually pretty laid back around here, but the summer of 2011 is turning out to be pitiful.

We started it off by having our cats spayed and cones of shame all around.  I spent 10 days obsessed with their incisions and hoping they would remain infection-free...which they did.

Most summers are filled with days of swimming, lots of playing in the backyard, and a road trip to some vacation destination.  Last year was Myrtle Beach.  The year before that was Charlotte, North Carolina.

This year, it's nowhere.  It seems like the ice cream man isn't even coming around our neighborhood this year.

My kids are on a total teenager sleep schedule.  They go to bed at 1 a.m. and sleep until noon...or later.  They wake up, pop some waffles or Toaster Strudels into the toaster oven, and then rotate between the TV, killing zombies on the Xbox, stealing my iPhone so they can tend to their zen gardens, coloring pictures, reading a book, and fighting all the while.  They go outside for five-minute increments, if I'm lucky.
 
To top off this crappy summer, my husband landed on his chin playing basketball and broke his jaw last week.  It's been one week since his jaw was wired shut, and he is Miserable, with a capital M.

I am incredibly thankful for the doctors who patched him up, but I have some gripes with the fact that they did not file down a broken molar in the back while he was in surgery.  The jagged tooth is now shredding his tongue every time he swallows, and it would be too painful to open up his mouth to file it down now.

When he went for an emergency follow-up to complain about the pain, the doctor kindly refilled his meds, but decided to cut the dose from two percocet every four hours to one percocet every four hours.  It doesn't really make much sense to cut the pain meds when a person comes in because his pain just isn't subsiding.

Turns out the blender I bought 8 years ago that has been sitting in the abyss of my cabinet up until now is pretty handy for a liquid diet.  Smoothies and soup all around.

Yeah, so this summer sucks.  Das it.

One bright note for me was listening to the audio version of The Help.  I can't even explain how much I loved it.  In fact, I'm listening to it again and I'm really looking forward to seeing the movie.  If you haven't read it yet, do it now.  Trust.

Road rage

I believe I take the prize right now for suckiest blogger on the planet.  I had a serious case of writer's block...up until this morning.

As I sit here sipping my delicious McD's mocha frappe, I'm going to tell you a little tale of road rage and my nutso husband.

So as I was driving Brand to work this morning (we share one car), we came to a four-way stop.  Naturally, I stopped.  When it was my turn to go, I put my foot on the accelerator and started to proceed.  At that precise moment, another car pulled up to the right and, without even looking, they pulled out.  He cut me off.

I wasn't going fast, so I just stepped on the brake and basically uttered the words, "What the hell..."  No big deal.  Look, we all make mistakes as drivers.  Whatever.

Yeah, well, that one offense clearly brought out Brand's inner Hulk because dude reached over and laid his fist on the horn for, like, 10 seconds straight.  But that wasn't good enough.  As we moved forward, he did it again!

He obviously scared the piss out of the offending stop-sign runner (who, by the way, appeared to be a little old man with a HANDICAP sticker on the rearview mirror no less), because the person stopped driving, stopped dead in his tracks.

Would you believe that my husband had his hand on the door handle like he was going to get out of the car and beat the hell out of this person?

I started yelling at him to calm the fuck down.  Like are you really going to get arrested over this?  Are you on steroids or something?

And then he got nasty with me because I was clearly not as pissed off that this person didn't know the rules of the road.

I was mortified.  I still want to find the person that drives the blue VW Bug with a handicap sticker on the mirror and apologize for my husband's momentary insanity.

I have instituted a new rule.  If you are in the passenger seat, you may not touch the horn.  Off limits, buddy!

Hopefully, I'm back to posting regularly!

Keep Breathing

While wasting time on the Web, as usual, I have been listening to this Ingrid Michaelson song on repeat for the last hour.



As I was listening to her words over and over again, I was reading articles about the horrific tornadoes that swept through the Midwest last night and looking at the pictures of the devastation, pictures of people surveying the damage and hugging their loved ones, and something hit me like a lightening bolt to the face.

We all work so hard to keep up with the Joneses.  We all want nice things.

It takes a tornado 60 seconds to rip all of that away from you.

When it comes right down to it, when such a tragedy happens, all you're going to care about is that your loved ones are still alive.

All the material things we work so hard to attain don't matter at all.

My heart is broken for all the people affected by yet another awful natural disaster.

Life sucks sometimes.

But like the song says, all we can do is keep breathing...

NOT good times...

I already shared our poison ivy woes from earlier in the week.  That sucked.

The cherry on top of that sundae, though, was Ryan stepping on a rusty nail Thursday night.

Long story short, Ryan was walking in the yard barefoot and stepped on nail with his right foot.  He's up to date on his tetanus vaccine and everything, but he ended up getting really sick at 4 a.m. on Friday morning.

I was freaking out, thinking he had blood poisoning or something, but it turns out he probably was either having a bad reaction to the Prednisone prescribed for his poison ivy or had a stomach bug on top of everything else.

He was a miserable, moaning, puking mess.  It was a damn good thing that  I remembered to grab a bowl and paper towels before we went to the pediatrician's office, otherwise my car would have been covered in vomit.

His pediatrician gave me a prescription to fill for antibiotics if his foot started to look infected.  Thankfully, it has not...and I haven't needed to pick up the coveted pink medicine yet.

His dirty feet...and his injury.

He's much better today.

Yes, he dressed himself.  Plaid shorts, striped shirt...

As a matter of fact, he and Jayden are getting on my nerves as we speak.  I've had to tell them "get away from me" several times today already, which is a good sign that things are back to normal.

I'll tell ya, though, he really had me freaking out on Friday morning.

Oh, and by the way, as I was pulling the nail out of his foot, I was screaming at him that he should have had shoes on...but did you know it's actually better to step on a nail barefoot than with shoes on?  I learn something new every day...

Stop Scratching!!!

Today is a downright nasty day.  It's raining cats and dogs.

First thing this morning, I discovered the bleach had been knocked over onto a pile of dirty laundry with the top slightly loose.  Consequently,  my brand new black yoga pants and several other things are now destroyed.

I was supposed to be spending my day getting things done around the house.  I am off from work today, and the kids should be at school, followed by two hours at their after-school program.

Instead, I ended up in the pediatrician's office because both kids are covered in poison ivy.  They've been itchy since Saturday really.  I thought the little red bumps on Ryan's legs were mosquito bites or something.  Then it started spreading...and I started freaking out, thinking we had bed bugs or fleas or some other random scary parasite.

While I was happy to hear the doctor confirm that what we're dealing with is poison ivy, she also told me that the oil can remain active on objects, and therefore be spread, for up to a year.  Unfortunately that is what is happening.  It is indeed spreading like wild fire.  On the bright side, I don't seem to be allergic to it.

So now they are taking Prednisone and Benadryl and covered in chalky Calamine lotion, and I am left with the awesome responsibility of scrubbing anything they've touched...which is just about everything in the house.

I did have a giggle in the car on the way to the doctor's office though.

Jayden:  "Did you know that the sun will eventually explode?"

Me:  "Yes.  All stars eventually die.  The sun is a star."

Ryan:  "Yay!!!  I'm a star?"

Me:  "I was talking about the sun, Dude."

Jayden:  "Ryan, don't you know what a homophone is?  We're talking about the s-u-n, not s-o-n."

Smarty pants.

Never a dull moment....

Dancing Queen

On Saturday morning, Jayden woke up and bugged me non-stop about getting ready for dance recital rehearsal.  She was going to be able to wear make-up, for Pete's sake, and she wanted to get on with it already.

This was going to be her first recital experience, and she was wicked excited.

I definitely should have noticed that her tie was askew.

Several hours later, we pulled into the parking lot and she proceeded to barricade herself in the car...she flat out refused to get out, begged me to take her home.  She had a sudden onset of severe stage fright.

So I dragged her by the arm into the auditorium and that was that.

Turn to Sunday, the day of the show.  Once again, she was up bright and early and wanting to get ready...except this time there was not a hint of nervousness.

She was about the 35th act out of 70, so she had to sit in the audience with me for a loooooooooooong time before her performance.  I thought for sure she was going to be a  nervous wreck the closer we got to her turn, but she wasn't.
 

And when it was her class's time to perform, she did a great job.

She was showered with flowers by her adoring fans.

And she was awarded with a medal for completing her first year of dance classes, which she proudly wore around her neck to school this morning.

She had a great weekend.

As for me, my back is still killing me from sitting in the same spot for 5 hours yesterday.  Holy cow...dance recitals are long.  Thankfully they're only once a year.  :)

Saturday Morning Musings

* Since I think a blog post is naked without pictures, this one will be filled with random ones.

I woke up yesterday morning with a twitch in my right eye, and I still have it 24 hours later.  It makes me feel spazzy.

Flying high on the swing.  She tattooed her face over Easter break, in case you're curious what that black thing is.

  

I'm up before the kids on a Saturday morning, which is practically unheard of.  When I don't have to wake up for a particular reason on the weekend, I like to lay in bed and snooze until my body is ready to get up.  On Saturday mornings, I'm known to stay in bed until 11...even noon.  It's kind of nice to be getting things done before the daily fighting begins.

Speaking of fights, I really hope that they knock it off one day soon.  They argue over every little stupid thing...yet they are lost without one another.  It occurred to Ryan the other day that in a few years Jayden will move to a different school without him and he cried...like big sad tears.  Apparently just having her in the same building is important to him.  Who knew...

She tried to be slick and take a sip of his slushy, but he caught her red handed.

 
Jayden has a dance recital on Sunday.  She's been taking lessons since January, but just last night I was scouring nearby towns trying to find her the jazz shoes she's supposed to have.  It took me a little more effort than I expected, but I finally found them...thank heavens.

I just subscribed to a free one-month trial at audible.com.  I've been listening to The Hunger Games on my iPhone nonstop since.  It's a great way to pass the time while I'm driving or cleaning around the house.  And since I don't have a lot of free time to read for pleasure, it enables me to listen to books that I've been dying to get my hands on.

How is it that he eats like a 30-year-old man but you can see his rib cage like he's emaciated?

For the first time ever really, I am staying ahead of my workload.  I'm starting to find a balance, which is easing a lot of stress.  I'm pretty sure it's because the kids are older and aren't so dependent upon me for every little thing.  Trust me when I tell you that it is damn near impossible to work at home with two babies.  I've come a long way.

The kids have a little over one month of school left.  Since they had a bazillion snow days, their last day isn't until June 27th.  I'm really looking forward to summer laziness...

I regret to inform you that my laundry room floor is piled high with laundry again.  It really is my nemesis...a task that I abhor with all my heart and soul.

  

It officially costs over $60 to fill my car with gas.  What the hell, man?  Are the prices ever going to go back down?  When I got my license in 1999, gas was about $1 a gallon.  It's gone up almost 400 percent in a little over 10 years.  Yikes!

Jayden has just stumbled out here asking for breakfast, so I'm off to throw some french toast sticks into the toaster oven.  Mmmmm....

Have a wonderful weekend!

Reverting

See this guy right here:

Well, I love him.

As a matter of fact, he's one of my most favorite people on the planet.

But if he doesn't stop waking me up in the middle of the night every single day, him and I are going to fight.

I'm only 28 years old.  I don't need bags under my eyes.  He's 7 years old for crying out loud.  I should be able to get an uninterrupted 6 to 8 hours of sleep.

Mostly he complains about nightmares.  See, the thing about Bubba is that he is a fraidy cat.

Is that mean for me to say?

Well, it's the truth.

The crazy thing is that he really is quite an adventurous little kid...but when he hears a bump in the night, he comes running for his mama.

I love ya, Dude, but you're killing me.

Yawn.

Cutting the cord...

 I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days.

When you have a baby, he or she is pretty much in your control 24/7...and it stays that way for quite a few years.

I'm entering into a territory now where my kids are going to have a life that doesn't always include me.

And it brings me severe anxiety.

I wouldn't consider myself a hovering parent really.  I let them do things even when inside I'm screaming with worry because I know there are times when I need to step away and maybe look the other way...because it's part of growing up.

Ryan went on a field trip yesterday without me...and I was sick all day about it.  I don't know why I'm so nervous about things like that, but I hate when my kids go on bus trips without me...like to the point of I need a Xanax stat.

We're at the stage where we bring them to birthday parties and dance lessons and play dates...and leave.  We don't have them in our sights all the time.

And as neurotic as it sounds, it makes me think of days when they'll be driving and dating and leaving home all grown up because I know it's going to be here in the blink of an eye.  And I don't know how the heck I'm going to be able to handle it. 

Does this protective mom thing ever go away?  Because I can't imagine that it does.  I don't know how mothers of soldiers overseas don't just throw up all day long worrying about their babies.

I can't even let my kids get in a car with a person other than myself and a selected few and not panic all the live long day.

So, basically, I need to chill the eff out.  Enjoy each day.  Stop worrying about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

I mean, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?

Hi, my name is Jessica, and I am a worrying spaz of a mother.

P.S.  Can you tell I've discovered the self timer on my camera?  Good times...

My afternoon heart attack

The kids are at school.  Brand is at work.  I don't have a job due today, nor do I have to leave the house to go to work.  I am suffering from either a cold or allergies...so I'm feeling a little off.

So at 10:00, I looked at the clock and said to myself, "I'm going to close my eyes for a half hour."

Turn to 12:15-ish.

That's the time my eyes opened again and I shot up off the couch in a panic.  I had no idea what day it is.  Where are the kids?  Am I late for work?  Are they late for school? 

My heart was pounding until I came back to reality.

Somehow the effects of a nap aren't so relaxing when you wake up like that.

Random picture:

Memorial Day '06

I think Bubba is wearing 2T.  Jayden is wearing Little Mermaid sandals that lit up when she walked.  Chubby baby fingers gripping ginger ale...  Ack.  They're not babies anymore.  :(

Another from the same day:

On that note, I think I'm going back to sleep...

Finally.

At 10:30, I saw that the president was going to be addressing the nation.  I heard a reporter say the words "a very grave CIA operation overseas."  It made me nervous...scared even.

Then the reports started trickling in that Osama Bin Laden is dead at the hands of the United States.

It's been 9 years, 7 months, and 20 days since that awful, awful day.

We will never forget.

He was able to hide for 10 years.  We never stopped looking.

May he burn in hell.

I wish this meant the end of terrorism.  I wish it meant a peaceful world for my children.

While I know it doesn't, it still gives me hope.

Today is a good day.

United we stand.

The conversations I live for...

Brand and I have a battle of wits on a daily basis.  We throw jabs at one another constantly, each with the goal of having the funniest last words so that we both start cracking up.  It's a never-ending "who's going to say the funniest thing" competition.

The conversation in this video isn't really that funny, but it's my reaction at the end that I love....and the fact that so many of our conversations end like this.

(The quality is awful and I appear to be upside down...don't know how to flip it.)




A rough transcript of our conversation this morning:

"B:  I'm tired of you hogging the bed all night.  Every time I turn around, your butt is right there in my space.

J:  Well, maybe you shouldn't hog the blanket.  Then I wouldn't have to be so close.

B:  Go get the blanket from downstairs, and this wouldn't be a problem.

J:  You know, it's pretty ridiculous we can't share a king-size blanket.

B:  It's not a king-size.  It's a full or a queen.

J:  No, it's definitely a king.

B:  If it was a king-size it would be touching the floor.  It's not that big.

J:  Whatever.  I should know.  I'm the one who bought it.

* Five-second pause

B:  Well, it's a blanket made for one king...not the king and queen."

Zinger.  He won.

Laughter surely is the best medicine.

Lucy Lettuce

I find my kids very entertaining.  If they're not making me stark raving mad, they're cracking me up.

I try to document the amusing things they do on either Facebook or my blog so that I can remember it for all eternity....and perhaps torture them with it at a later date.

This falls under the category of things that made me chuckle.

Today Jayden showed me this picture she colored in school:

 

She's been learning about the food pyramid and nutrition in school for the past few weeks, and apparently her assignment was to color this picture so that it was true to life.  In other words, no purple peas or orange asparagus.

She told me that she refused to color Lucy Lettuce because lettuce doesn't have a face or arms in real life.

Seems pretty logical to me. 

Girlfriend takes her assignments seriously.  :)

Who knew?

I've known this guy for 7 years and just this morning he gave me this look.

I seriously had no idea he could do "The Rock" eyebrow raise.

Cracked me up...

Seven Years

On April 18, 2004, Brand and I had a 17-month-old daughter and a 4-day-old newborn son.

So you know what we did?

We got married.

Ryan was supposed to attend the wedding in utero, but my body had other plans.

We had a lovely little ceremony in my parents' living room.  I wore a maternity dress, and my feet were still so swollen from being pregnant that I couldn't even jam a pair of flip-flops on my feet.  So my maid of honor and I went barefoot.

***********************************************************************************

Brand and I have been together since 1999.  We started dating in high school.  He was a senior and I was a junior.  Even at the ripe old age of 16, I knew I'd found "the one."  I know it sounds silly and downright crazy, but I was right.

We have literally been best friends ever since.

We both saved every single note that we ever wrote to one another in high school, and I laughed my butt off this morning reading the one where he asks me if I wanted to make our relationship "official" on March 1, 1999.  He even drew me pictures.

Let's take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?

Senior Prom 1999

Graduation 1999

1999

June of 2000; Wildwood, NJ

***********************************************************************************

Like all couples, we have our disagreements.  We don't always see eye to eye, but the one thing that keeps our relationship strong is absolute trust and the fact that we are truly best friends.

There has never been drama in our relationship, even from the very beginning.  If something is bothering one of us, we talk it out (or yell it out) and we don't hold grudges.

We give one another space.  If he wants to go out with his friends without me, I have no issue with that...and vice versa.  And we make each other laugh on a daily basis.

*************************************************************************************

I love you, B-Nobes.

Happy Anniversary.